Puella Magi Maid Cafe
Skyber pulls some strings to earn a grant at the shopping district for a one-day popup restaurant, as Gyssabel’s reward for “single-handedly” solving the Orbeez Incident. Gyssabel makes her cafe maid-themed, forcing all of her employees (Nathaniel, Pearl, Carrie, Hugo) to wear stuffy, tight uniforms. During service, Kay, Splats, clown maid Tawny (not related to the cafe, she’s just like that), Dr. Ernst, Artemis, Ridley, and Preston arrive as guests.
- Artemis, Kay and Splats get reacquainted with Ridley in a maid outfit, badgering him for starting the incident.
- Ernst complains about almost every single thing about this whole operation.
- Preston orders the Gravy.
As the customers wait for their orders, Gyssabel embodies the spirit of Gordon Ramsey and reenacts an average episode of Kitchen Nightmares (or The Bear, whichever show is more relevant to you), abusing her workers.
- Nathaniel is dressed in the wrong outfit and gets the worst treatment.
- Pearl opens a recipe book, only to find it’s written entirely in chicken scratch by Gys. She mentally breaks down and gives it to Hugo, who’s just dumb enough to read it perfectly, though is quickly overwhelmed.
- Carrie passes out from exhaustion. Gyssabel forces her limp body to work anyways.
Gyssabel makes a big show about her specialty item, The Graveyard Gravy. In which, she stuffs battery acid, an entire watermelon, fermented vegetables, and other unnamable ingredients into a giant cauldron to serve to Preston. The pot is literally unable to contain the corrosive properties of the gravy and explodes, covering everyone and everything. Gyssabel laughs at everyone and runs away.
Big Arm and Sean arrive and kick everyone out, calling the guards. Charlie and Claude arrive, but Splats pries Ridley off the ceiling and escapes.
The Great Chili Jerk-Off
Walt, Nathaniel and Vincent judge a chili cook-off in one of the classrooms, while the competition (Brown & Fraise, Hugo) question ERA’s choice of judges, inciting a petty squabble. They stop when Vincent wakes up from underneath the table, and Walt thinks he’s a hobo that snuck in. Brown and Fraise further question the staff’s credentials.
Casti arrives later, volunteering as a fourth judge. Don’t ask why.
Fraise gives Brown control of the pot to grab ingredients. Immediately, Brown starts messing up the recipe, adding too much water and throwing in antacid Tums to “cut the acidity”. At some point, he ends up accidentally spilling the whole pot over, burning himself.
Fraise returns and sees the mess, shouting at Brown in French. The judges try what’s left of the chili anyway, and everyone gets sick. Hugo wins by default, though his is apparently delicious (despite cheating a bit with packaged chili mix).
Fraise and Brown take their argument outside and brawl on the grass. Nathaniel and Hugo crawl back to their dorm with severe indigestion. Nathaniel ends up shitting his pants.
- No, I’m not making this up. It’s canon and disgusting.
Baseball!
Skyber organizes a baseball game with Brown, Fraise, Splats, Pearl, Kate, Lucas, Delphi, and Nathaniel. Kay watches from the sidelines.
-Fraise is chosen Captain of Team A. He picks Brown, Kate, and Lucas. -Splats is chosen Captain of Team B. She picks Pearl, Delphi, and Nathaniel. -Hugo arrives late and gets pelted with the ball.
Unfortunately, most of the “game” ends up consisting of everyone arguing over teamwork (or lack thereof) than actually playing. Skyber, regardless, is more than amused. -Pearl, Fraise and Brown are the only ones focused on actually trying to win the game. -Splats and Nathaniel find more enjoyment in antagonizing everyone in the field. -Kate loses interest and leaves the field. -Delphi and Lucas do nothing for the entire game. Though Lucas snarks here and there.
CD Tryouts/Reunion
Brown finds Kay with the guitar she got from RGB, and she tells him she will be Collateral Damage’s new lead guitarist. This spurs Brown to try to get the band together, only to find the rest of their members missing or gone.
Brown and Kay publicly post tryout flyers on the school’s bulletin board, and get Pearl, Nikki, Hugo, Nathaniel, and even Skyber (as Clem) to attend to the music classroom, now run by posh British tightwad Professor Walt Hampshire. Hugo reprises his role as rhythm guitarist, and Pearl fills in as the new drummer. Brown is unsure of letting Skyber try out, though Kay insists it will help her interact with more people. She’s eventually let in as a keyboardist.
The five meet at their old practice studio in the abandoned building, where Nova makes a surprise appearance. With both guitarist spots filled, they recommend being their new vocalist, which they agree to. Unfortunately, with so many creative differences in one room now, it is next to impossible to even decide what to play first, and most of the session is spent bickering in mild frustration.
Brown is unsure what to make of this development, suspecting Collateral Damage simply cannot be what it used to be, and fails to schedule any more jam sessions. Kay commits full-time to RGB.
Burning Down the House
Administration catches wind of a suspicious casino establishment several dozen miles away from ERA, which they have reason to believe could be a branch from the House, attempting to discover the location of the Electi facility.
Charlie, Joan, and Claude are called into a private meeting with a low-ranking Admin official, with the authority to fire them if they don’t accept this mission to go off-campus to investigate the potential threat, which is out of Charlie’s squad’s jurisdiction, besides Claude. The Administrator argues that if this isn’t handled, their job of protecting the inside of ERA will mean nothing as long as the House knows where they are, and chose Charlie given his prolific history against the House prior. Given no choice, the team begrudgingly accepts.
They are dispatched to “The Beaver” casino, where they infiltrate the building through espionage and stealth, Joan providing overwatch through a laptop in their van parked outside. Charlie and Claude split up inside disguised respectively as a bodyguard and a patron, separately collecting intel and evidence of the casino’s true intentions.
Claude recognizes their armed security guards equipped with guns from Black Sky, a major arms manufacturer corporation from the Vitric. Charlie steals an ID card from one of the bosses, with the House’s insignia. He deduces it might be an access badge to the secured upper floor, and chooses to continue the mission despite already having evidence. Claude chooses to follow him.
The two trick the security guards into switching shifts with them, and the goons leave to check with their superiors. Upstairs, Charlie finds a gun lying on a break room sofa and steals it, suspecting their cover was blown from the ruse. Claude finds who he recognizes as his former boss, still alive and in charge of this whole operation. It is revealed Claude used to be a member of the House, but has since defected for unknown reasons.
Charlie discovers a vault of secret House documents, and the two scurry to gather as much evidence as possible until the alarm sounds, compromising them.
Charlie distracts and stands off with the mob boss, allowing Claude to escape without being detected. When the rest of the House security arrives, Charlie gets into a violent shootout killing several guards and sustaining serious injuries, barely escaping through the fire exit with his life.
Joan recovers the two, though not before Claude is stopped by the boss who somehow escaped, finally recognizing his former employee. Claude knocks him out, not allowing him to know his true motives for returning. As they drive away, the three find the building up in purple flames, realizing that ERA had sent a final contingency plan to deal with the House casino: Skyber.