A soft ray of sunlight hit Brown’s eyelids. He lay motionless in his warm bed, his chest slowly rising up, then back down again. He was dreaming of Eros.
A shadow intercepted the light, looming over the boy. The figure leaned in and gently shook his body, bundled in covers. Suddenly, Brown awoke. Chel was the first thing he saw.
Brown screamed in frustration.
The feminine shadow jumped back in surprise, barely leaving enough room for Brown to spring out of his bed. He marched towards his ex-best friend, excitedly tying his shoes. The phone on his nightstand was playing the same stupid song he heard the last four times.
Shareef don’t like it,
Rockin’ the Casbah, rock the Casbah!
Shareef don’t like-
Brown gripped the phone in cold, sweaty knuckles, and chucked it out the window, breaking the glass on impact. Saki’s mouth stood agape.
“Brown… why did you-” he started.
“I hate The Clash,” was Brown’s only response.
Then, Saki’s reaction became more reasonable. “Dude! What the shit?! I was gonna use that, like, later today! I have a date with-”
“I don’t give a flying fuck about your date!” Brown exploded, going ballistic as promised. “Your musky-ass breath was gonna ruin it anyways!”
“Brown! What’s gotten into you!” Saki stood up. “I know it’s early, but you can’t just act crazy over me waking you up!”
“You fucker! You killed us all!” Brown tackled his ex-friend onto the bed. A confused and scared Saki tried to push him back, Chel moving in to help him.
Before Brown could throttle and wring the poor boy’s neck, he felt his body was suddenly lighter. Something lifted him off the Asian’s bed, and he found himself three inches in the air as his eyes met with Xander’s.
“Jesus…I like the attitude kid, but you gotta chill out,” a tired Xander said as he placed a piece of paper in the collar of his shirt. “Put some pants on, go outside, take a breath of fresh air, calm the fuck down, and go to the mummy’s lab. Freak wanted to see you ‘bout something.”
The boy, who by his roommates’ standards officially lost his marbles, stared at him for an entire minute straight. He didn’t even blink. Even Xander felt a twinge of intimidation.
“Hey. How much money did you get from delivering that paper?” Brown finally spoke, an awful plan coming to mind.
“How-”
“Don’t answer that, I know the answer. How about another errand?”
Saki furiously shaking his head “no” caught the corner of Xander’s eye. The latter turned back to give his answer.
“I was hoping to get some shut eye, but now I can’t sleep safe knowing you might choke me out in my sleep or something. What do you want?”
“Oh, I think you’ll like this one,” Brown said in a frightening calm manner, completely contrasting his explosive tone just moments before. “You’re coming with me to the lab. Then, when I give the green light, you turn on your flamethrower hands and destroy the hunk of metal inside. Got it?”
“So… You’re just gonna pay me to break some shit?”
“Maybe I am. Unless you’re willing to do it for free.”
At this point, Brown felt like he knew no fear anymore. Essentially, he had nothing left to lose. The rational side of his behavior gave way to the impulsive. Perhaps in the back of his mind, he knew that well enough now.
Xander looked at the boy for a second and began to laugh. He put Brown back down, and let out a content sigh. “Hah… good one man. Sure, I’m in. Just, put some pants on for the love of God.
Brown checked his watch, stepping out the door. “Xander, let me tell you something. Where we’re going, we have no time for pants.”
Xander looked at Brown with furrowed brows. He shot a glance to Saki, who in his shocked state was completely silent. “I better get double for that alone,” Xander grumbled and followed Brown out of the door, shutting it behind him.
The two jogged down the halls, Xander had finally managed to catch up to Brown who he wasn’t sure he knew anymore.
“So, what the fuck is all of… this, about?”
“Xander, pal, buddy, amigo: if this works, trust me I’ll explain everything to you as many times as you fucking want. As of now, I’m paying you to do what I fucking say, not to ask questions.”
Xander’s eyes widened. He couldn’t muster any witty response to the guy. “…Alright, kid. Have it your way.”
“Good, now we should have about-“ His train of thought screeched to a grinding halt as he bumped into Lucas in the hall.
“Ow, fuck dude- I thought we were over that. And what happened to your pants?” Lucas said, rubbing his shoulder that was violently bumped. The books he was carrying fell onto the floor, which elicited an expected “meh” from the blond.
Brown staggered from the impact. “God, again? After five fucking times you’d think of, oh I don’t know, moving aside for once?”
Lucas raised his hands defensively. “Hey, don’t give me that. I just popped in here, I didn’t do nothin’.”
“That’s the problem, jackass. Ugh, whatever, I got places to be and universes to save. So if you’ll excuse me,” Brown said as he walked past Lucas. Xander walked behind them and gave the blond an apologetic shrug.
“Wait, Brown, I got an idea on how to fix the-“
“Fuck your ideas, I have my own plan now.”
“…you know it’s very hard to take you seriously right now,” the blond called out of earshot.
Brown stormed the lab, Xander trailing behind. Ernst jumped in place from the noise of the door being kicked in. Skyber looked up from the table Nova was on. Their skin was starting to become… translucent? That’s the only way Brown could describe it. Looking at them, he could see a starry galaxy inside of Nova’s body and in the middle of it, at Nova’s chest… he couldn’t possibly describe it. Staring at it made his mind blank and he had to turn away to regain focus. This was undoubtedly the void.
“Brown?!” Ernst yelled. “Vhy are you not wearing your pants? Is zis a crazy new fashion statement I have yet to hear of?!”
He ignored the scientist. “Yo, Skyber. How’s Ber-Ber?”
Skyber glared at the boy. “What’s the meaning of…” Skyber squinted her hollowed eyes at the Brown’s unique attire with an unimpressed squint.”…this? More importantly, how do you know of Ber-Ber?”
Brown clapped his hands together. “Alright! Let’s break this down a fifth time!”
“Fifth?” Xander, Skyber and Ernst said in unison.
Brown continued. “First off, we’re in a time loop. And yes, this is the fifth time I’ve gone through this. And yes, the time machine over there caused it. No, Nova is not sick, they’re withering away because whatever the machine did is forcing them to loop time each time they sneeze at 9AM. Yes, that is killing them. And no, they won’t last for another loop or two. And the only reason I know of that plush under your top hat is because you showed it to me two loops ago, because you knew even yourself would never believe a guy who’s trying to save the fucking universe!”
Skyber looked at Brown with squinted eyes and then looked down in contemplation. “…I am certainly glad that I did show you Ber-Ber or else I would never believe such nonsense, especially with your choice of wear…or rather lack thereof. I would have never showed it to you under regular circumstances, and to go to such lengths to convince myself… I have no choice but to believe you,” the Goddess said, closing her eyes.
Xander, bewildered as he was, asked arguably the most relevant question. “Ok, that’s real great and all, but what do I have to do with this saving-the-universe crap?”
Brown breathed in, and answered. “We’re going to demolish this loop at its source.”
Suddenly, Ernst started to sweat, knowing full well what this meant. “V-Vait, Brown! That’s not even theoretically possible! I never activated the machine! Not even once!”
“Not in this timeline,” Skyber said as she stood up, placing her hand on his shoulder. “I apologise for what we’re about to do, but one machine is not worth risking existence itself.”
The scientist fidgeted in place. “No…I’m afraid I can’t let you destroy zhis creation. I von’t let years of vork go to vaste vithout even testing it once! I VILL NOT ALLOW IT!”
Brown sneered, locking his leg to the ground with a snap of his fingers. “Sorry, Doc. I wasn’t asking for your permission. Alright, Xander! Green light.”
“Don’t need to tell me twice.” Xander cracked his knuckles, and a burst of flame on either hands erupted. Skyber walked past the struggling doctor and removed her gloves to reveal her sharp claws.
The two charged the machine in a fiery attack, the sound of clanking metal and bursting flames deafening the room.
A metal pipe flew across the room, landing just feet away from Brown. He picked it up on the side not red-hot and joined the fray, wailing on the machine with all his might.
“NOOOOOO!! MY TIMETVISTER! MEIN BEAUTIFUL ZIETGIEST 3000! ZE COLLATERAL DAMAGE I VILL HAVE TO CLEAN! HOW COULD YOU DO ZIS TO MY BABY?!” The doctor cried out from his place, unable to move. Only a flying, flaming metal plate that landed right beside the doctor silenced him. “…un second thought, maybe I shouldn’t go in zhere.”
Brown ran out of breath within minutes. With his pipe bent and scorching hot, the time traveler took a step back and dropped his weapon to the floor.
The remaining two kept wailing on the contraption until nothing remained but a flaming pile of scrap metal. Skyber and Xander stepped back, the mortal holding his knees as his hair burnt and sizzled with a heavy pant while the dragonic empress simply dusted her suit.
“It is done. The machine is no more,” Skyber said as she wore her gloves back, retracting her claws. “What happens now?”
Brown panted. He checked his watch. Three minutes left. “Now, we wait for 9:01.”
“You really think that did something, kid?” Xander said, short breathed. “The flying fuzzball doesn’t look any different to me.”
Brown sat down on the floor. “Only one way to find out.”
Skyber walked back to her seat beside Nova’s table, she looked at her friend with a saddened gaze as she petted then gently. This time there wasn’t even a purr to comfort her. “…I have to agree…this is quite worrisome. You said they won’t survive another loop. Tops a second one,” Skyber voiced her concern, her voice quivering as dread began to crawl on her back.
Brown took a deep breath. “If they sneeze, you can’t say I didn’t try. I’ve done everything I could. If you were in my place, you would feel the same.”
Skyber sat in silence for a moment before glaring at Brown. “Are you truly confident in your choice of words, Brown? If reality ceased to exist in ten seconds, and you will be stuck in whatever is waiting for us in inexistence-“
Nova took a large breath in.
“-Are you going to look back on your last words with pride?”